


It's Always Nice to Meet a New Face

by theheadlessqueen



Category: Filth (2013)
Genre: Ableist Language, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dialect, F/M, Fix-It, Genderfluid Character, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Masturbation, One Night Stands, References to Drugs, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, because they're both drunk but they still want to have sex with each other, internalized shit, mention of gender dysphoria, misogynistic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:58:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15155480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheadlessqueen/pseuds/theheadlessqueen
Summary: I’m going out with Carole tonight. Bruce thought with a bitter resignation, and a swig of good whiskey, not that cheap shite.AU where Bruce/Carole wasn't abducted by Ghostie Gorman's gang, but was picked up by co-worker and friend Ray Lennox instead.





	It's Always Nice to Meet a New Face

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This fanfic is purely wish fulfillment for me and like...probably one other person. I’m a huge fan of Filth (the film and book). This has spoilers for both. Bruce Robertson is like...the worst person imaginable, but also I love the character so, so much and just want him to get better and fix their shit. So instead of Ghostie Gorman and his gang picking up “Carole”, Ray Lennox does instead. And then they bond over trauma. Kinda. I kind of started to write how Irvine Welsh did, but I gave up like half-way through. So this is probably a big incoherent mess but oh well!! Also I use he/they/she for Bruce/Carole because I think that Bruce is bigender, or genderfluid. Oh also Ray Lennox is a trans man in this fic (He’s on T, but he hasn’t had top surgery). This fic starts right after Bruce blew up at Amanda Drummond. Also Bruce/Carole periodically uses the “royal we” but it’s more to do with....mental unhealth related things. Italics is Bruce/Carole's internal monologue.

_I’m going out with Carole tonight_. Bruce thought with a bitter resignation, and a swig of good whiskey, not that cheap shite.

 

 _Ah’m no gonna give up living my life just because some spastic wants to gi’e me some grief_ , Bruce shrugged, thinking about Amanda Drumstick and the cow’s stupid psychoanalysis _...there are more important things to think aboot tonight._

 

After delicately choosing a very specific, and very luxurious feeling ensemble, Carole sauntered down the cobblestone pathway as she went looking for some company for the evening. As per usual, she had to keep her wits about herself. While her face was very warm, the world was very cold. She knew how people could be...hence, the hammer in her purse. Many cars drove past, Carole ignored the disgusting language from most of the men. She was looking for a specific kind of man that would be kind, for a man, she supposed. _It’s no bad tae want some attention, but a certain kind of attention._

 

A familiar looking car pulled up and there was a tremor of fear that shocked her like lightning. She just stood there, unable to move. Many people know about the “fight or flight” instinct, but there’s also “freeze”, which many do forget about. _Unfortunately..._

 

The driver rode up real close and stuck his head out of the window. _Naw….it cannae be…_

**_Ray Lennox_ **

 

“Oot for a wee ride, sweetheart?” He opens up the passenger side, and Carole slides in, without question, but also without reason.

 

“It’s always nice to meet a familiar face, eh?” Ray winks, but Carole is shaking her head frantically.

“Ah dinnae ken ye…”, Carole says softly. _We don’t like to talk when we’re out like this…_

 

For a minute, Ray is confused. He thought for a split second that this might not be the same person he thinks he thought he knew, but he does know and is very certain about the circumstances. Amanda and Toal briefed him this morning, afterall.

 

“Naw, Ah dae ken ye, bonnie Bruce,” Ray went to pat her shoulder. Carole looked at him with equal parts confusion and frustration. Not wanting to be outed, but also not wanting to _be_ Bruce at the moment, Lennox held a lot of power right now.

 

“Yer mistaken. Ah’m no Bruce, Ah’m Carole.” Carole said firmly, and started to get a lump in her throat. Carole cursed that she didn’t look or sound how she thought she did in her head. Carole knew what she wanted to be, but no one else saw that. _Fuck. Fuck and shit._ She didn’t know what she expected but she didn’t plan on her night going like this. But already three sheets in, she knew she didn’t want to wander around outside anymore.

 

Ray pulled over to his flat. He didn’t want to be presumptuous but it was already 2am, and he really didn’t want his co-worker to be wandering in the early morning hours. Especially like this. He reached out and touched Carole’s hand.

 

“Ah mean no offense. Ah’m sorry...thought you were someone else. Ah widnae dae anythin you didnae want to dae.” Ray Lennox looked actually earnest. Carole was used to getting men’s attention, but she actually kind of felt like reciprocating tonight. _It’s been a rough holiday, and honestly, who couldn’t need some more attention? They’ll... sort this whole lot out later. Much later. Was Lennox playing Games with Carole? Ach. Right now, The Games didn’t matter._

 

“Yer a bonnie lass, ye ken?” Lennox offered, looking into those beautiful blue eyes. Even more beautiful with black kohl rimmed around the outsides, emphasizing them.

 

“Aye...right”, Carole rolled her eyes. _This was all pish and shite, but then again, Ray looked at us like…..like, we don’t know what. Maybe it was always like this. Have we mistaken loving looks for admiration this entire time? Or was it...something else?_

 

“Naw, really! Ah’m no jist talkin rubbish!” Lennox got out of the car, and like a gentleman, opened Carole’s side and took her hand. “It’s late ya ken? Ah dinnae aboot ye, but Ah’m pure done in. We don’t hae to dae anythin but rest, but Ah don’t think ye should be out right now, Carole”.

 

 _Trying to quiet our head, we agree for once._ “Aye…”, after gingerly stepping out of the car and into the flat, Carole was actually impressed with the state of affairs within the apartment, and ashamed with….

_No. Don’t think about that right now._

 

Lennox showed Carole around briefly, but then pointed out the time. “It’s New Year’s, darling. New Year’s kiss and aw that?” he shrugged

Carole smiled.

_Why not? Our life is already so fucking weird already. Why not kiss your rival (not even a rival! ha!) while you’re dissociating and dysphoric as fuck? This might as well happen._

 

Ray stepped closer, and put his hand behind her head and kissed her deeply. At first Carole was kind of surprised by the amount of intimacy, but then again, any amount of intimacy was surprising and far few between these days lately. She got into it, and started to press up against Ray. Carole tried to ignore the police radio on the coffee table, which was next to the cocaine. Apparently Ghostie Gorman and the lot were apprehended by Drummond.

 

_Good for her, whatever. Dumb luck. That’s not what we’re focusing on right now…_

She shrugged off her coat, just left in a black slip, panties, stockings and heels. _Easy access and all that,_ she rolled her eyes in her mind. _Give the people what they want. I know what I look like. And I know that people want this._

 

_Ray fucking Lennox actually looked elated, and...something else...lustful? For...us? Her? Me? Fuck. Couldn’t give a Luke or Matt Goss about it._

 

As perplexing as this situation was, Carole couldn’t help to admit that this was also pretty hot. _Hate fucking, making love, shagging, whatever. Didn’t matter. What mattered, is that whatever was going to happen, it needed to happen, immediately. I kid you not!_

 

They stumbled toward the ugly red couch where Bruce put multiple cigarettes out, but at the moment, they didn’t gi’e two fucks about the interior design of the joint.

 

With a tight embrace, Ray could feel his partner’s arousal at his hip. He had a very...tumultuous relationship with Robertson to say the least, but tonight wasn’t about mind games for once. It was just about being close with someone.

 

“This okay?”, Lennox asked for confirmation. Carole nodded, “Aye.” She straddled his lap and started to unbutton his shirt. She whispered in his ear, “It’s okay, you can touch. Ah’m no jist a museum piece, eh?”

He moved her hair out of her eyes, looking into those piercing baby blues, before moving his hands across her chest and down to her hips. He felt the silky fabric, and the lace of the panties. After all that kissing, he was surprised that the bright red lipstick still stayed on so well. He pointed toward her lips with a slightly confused expression.

“It’s matte,” Carole shrugged.

“You really are beautiful, you know.” Ray touched her cheek.

“Anno”, Carole blushed. She was rubbing up against him, feeling his hardness and touching his bare chest. After a brief moment of doubt, she asked, “Is this weird? I-Is everything okay with you?”

Ray, “It’s okay. I promise. I wouldnae put my hand up your skirt if I didn’t like it, darling.” He kissed her shoulder.

“..Awrite.” They continued making out and feeling each other’s bodies. Ray reached into Carole’s panties and felt her, she gasped. Carole did the same for him. They got off, and they took their time about it, moaning into one another’s ears. They collapsed on the couch and fell asleep right there.

 

It was around 11am the next day by the time Bruce Robertson woke up with a pounding migraine, _Fuck. Shit. Cunt. Ah shouldn’t’ve drank so fucking much! Ah’m gettin auld..._ After taking a moment to look around and process where they were, Bruce was embarrassed as shite. _FUCK, Lennox?? Fanny Lennox?! Oh fuck. Ah REALLY shouldn’t’ve drank that much…_

 

_How did it make you feel?_

 

Just as Bruce was taking into account what all happened last night, Lennox walked in from the kitchen with what looked like...breakfast?

Even though Robertson’s wig, makeup and slip were all messed up, they still looked good. Really good. Lennox cursed that even though his co-worker always drank, smoked and did the same amount (if not more!) bonnie prince charlie as him, they always looked really, fucking good.

 

Bruce looked at Lennox, gie’ing him the ole up and down, “That for me?” referring to the plate of breakfast food.

Lennox shrugged, “Both of us, aye. But feel free to eat as much as you want.”

Bruce scarfed down most of the bacon, but left a good amount of eggs for Ray.

 

After a good 5 minutes of awkward silence, Ray broke it by saying, “So...are we going to talk about last night? We cannae go full well into work by ignoring everythin..”

 

Bruce snapped, “What is there to talk about? We fucked. We both wanted it. End of! I dunno about ye, but I can _full well_ ignore anythin.” He took his wig off, and turned his face away.

 

Lennox sighed, “Awright. If that’s all…” he began to walk away but Bruce grabbed his arm.

 

“Hey! Is this some kind of trick? What kind of games are ye playing, Lennox?! Were you some kind of distraction while _Drummond_ got the credit of catching Gorman? You just want that DI position don’t ye? Well, Ah DON’T like being controlled, and I DON’T like being taken advantage of”, Bruce glared.

 

 _Almost ironic, but it’s true. No matter how Ah play the games, the games are always being played. By me and others. Especially by others_.

 

Ray looked a little taken aback, as if he really had no idea what Robertson was on about. He sat back down on the couch next to his partner. “God, no. Listen, Ah would never play mind games with ye. Believe it or no, Ah respect you. I like you and you can tell yerself different, but Ah’m no tryin to take advantage. Ah had no scooby about Drummond and fuck all, Ah just was wandering around late at night and Ah saw ye always wanderin. That’s aw.”

 

_Well, if he was playing mind games, at least he was good at it._

Bruce rolled his eyes, “Don’t treat me like a wee pansy. Ah’m Bruce Robertson. Ah’m no some kind of delicate wee namby pamby bairn that ye need to be gentle and the like..”

 

Lennox held his hands up, as if in defense. “Awright Bruce. Ah’m just sayin, that Ah meant no disrespect.” Lennox looked at Bruce up and down, “Did ye want to borrow somethin to go hame in? I figured you wouldnae want to walk around with sex stained clothes and but.”

 

Bruce nodded, blushed and furrowed his brows, “Ah cannae believe you’ve seen me like this….”, they covered up more of their body with a nearby blanket, “How long hae ye ken aboot…. _this_ Carole?”

 

Ray handed them a cup of coffee, and shrugged, “Oh the whole team kens.”

 

 _PHOA. EXCUSE? AND HOW LONG? WAIT WHA…?_ Bruce’s mind was racing and their facial expression probably gave a lot away.

 

Ray could almost laugh, almost. “Bruce, listen. It’s no a big deal! Ever since Drummond found out aboot the ‘Blonde Witness’ with the latest case, Toal, Ingles, Bain, the whole lot fucking knew about ye! Not Dougie of course...but we’re protecting you! We knew that you didn’t want to be outed.” He tried to reassure.

 

 _God fuck, after feeling my heart fly up into the sky and back down again, Ah can finally catch my breath._ With one free hand, they tried to smoothe out their natural hair.

A feeble “Okay..”, came out a lot more shaky than they wanted it to, “Ah jist….wanted to be close to her. And maybe….maybe when Ah’’m like this….Ah can be something that Ah’m not when Ah’m Bruce. Ah dunno….Ah dunno what Ah’m gonna dae aboot work…” Bruce was rambling, but this was the first time they felt, exposed. Open even. Or some shite.

_Even with Dr. Rossi, and other fucking quacks they’ve made us go to, we always hae tae pretend we’re mostly okay, otherwise we end up off in some asylum or someshite. Fuck. Do we take our meds?! Do we fuck! We, I, we..don’t need some chemical to make us different. We don’t want to admit...no. We’re fine. I’m fine._

 

Even though it seemed like maybe Ray couldn’t understand, he had some understanding. “Don’t ye worry aboot work, Bruce. Everthin will be fine. Most people don’t gi’e two shites about what ye do after work. As long as you do your job. Maybe...get some mental health help, aye?”

 

There was a vulnerability to Bruce that was never shown before. "You can't fix me, ye know. Ah don't think I'm fixable." They wiped the mascara stained tears from their face. "Sometimes, ah think I was born wrong, ya ken? It's no as if I started okay as a bairn, aye...Ah was born bad but. Ye cannae fix something that's bad to begin with, I reckon."

 

Ray knew full well about feeling like you were born bad. He wondered how long Bruce has kept this all inside…, “Yer no bad, Bruce. No one is inherently bad. Bad things happen, but that doesn’t mean that you’re bad.” Lennox rubbed Bruce’s back. He winced at his own wording, a philosopher or psychiatrist he was not. He had to go to his fair share of shrinks, but it didnae mean he was any good at processing emotions and the like.

 

“Mah heid’s aw mince, Ah dinnae ken what Ah’m sayin..” Bruce shook their head. They grabbed the extra flannels and put on the shirt Lennox laid out for them. “Listen, Ah’m...goin hame. But maybe we can grab a pint or somethin later, awright?” Bruce started to dress and head out the door.

 

Ray smiled, “We’ll gi’e it laldy, sometime real soon, eh?” He waved at Bruce, catching a cab.

 

“Aye, right. Real soon.” Bruce rolled his eyes, but smiled.

 

_There could be worse ways to start the New Year, Ah s’pose._

**Author's Note:**

> Bruce cannonically has BPD, or is Bipolar. (Unspecified, but they are supposed to take Lithium as well as other meds). Bruce has a LOT of mental health issues that go untreated. But I just wanted to give them a second chance in this AU, where they don't get beat up horrifically because they're trans. :)
> 
> In cannon, Bruce Robertson is the WORST cop you could imagine possible. He's racist, misogynistic, ableist, homophobic etc etc and none of his issues absolve what a shit person he is! But he's a fictional character and he's MY garbage person.
> 
> So I tried to write in the Scottish dialect that Irvine Welsh does, but I'm really sorry if it's complete shit!!  
> Please don't judge me, or do. Whatever.


End file.
